I once knew a Lil' girl who was dirty, as she fell in the mud and stayed. None of the other children came out to help her, or wanted to play. It was a very gloomy day for her, she had just lost her doll, and even her mother and father were sad that they had a daughter at all. They wanted a boy you see, as in their eyes how could a daughter help them when they were old. They needed someone to take care of them, but she was not the one. She did not belong to anyone because she was unique, and did not have to be claimed by others, as a thing, but rather as a person with feelings, beliefs, ideas, imagination and things that all lil girls are made up of......like imaginary places with friends, who were not of human origin but were her imaginary friends made of gold, white, silver, and magical rainbows all around their beings. They loved her and she loved them, but she thought this was normal and nothing was out of place, just another day in this lil girl's life. She was always viewed as different, strange, unique, being the nicer of the lesser evils, but still all the same, she was very different and could not be anything else but different to herself, she was after all a lil 'girl.
This lil girl thought it was normal to love broken things, like a bird with a broken wing, a doll with a missing arm, and dog with a broken tail, must she continue to prevail. She was almost strange but in a very good way, she never hated, but it still is a sad tale because she thought love was a normal thing, not strange for human beings, how could it be? No one told her of this life where goblins, monsters, and evil things existed in a world that did not correlate directly with her imagination or intuition, she was nature's magician. She would look evil dead on, and later remembered a song, the one she played over and over, because her birth was in the month of October. She was a puzzle to her parent's how could she be anything different to them, but a lil girl with dreams, plans, and schemes. In her imagination, she never gave in to any hesitation, in her mind we were all free to be whatever God has lead us to think that we could be. This lil girl is you and I please don't tell me you don't have dreams? She belongs to herself and never thought she needed anyone else, for she was chosen you see, by God directly, for some infamy, for things yet untold, for this world she must be bold; and the further she will go........you can follow her if you like she likes friends, so let's adjourn to the hike, until it is time for all of us to find our common ground, maybe with help this lil girl will find that she is not so alone in this world without site, for if this story runs true, maybe you and I can come to on the path that she holds for us, somewhere when we let go of our earthly lust. I know man is more than just dust, we have and we must.....do the will of God, for we are not of our own creation my friend do you see, we were put here for loving of each other me and you............let's follow this lil girl and see if she can give our lives a lil whirl, she never gets lost too much, I know, for this lil girl is growing in you and I, she sees clearly, as if with the third eye. She is stronger than most can believe, she has magical powers that are really hard to believe, only one saw it first, and now she sees it too, my dear friends, how about you??
Never let this world push you to the side, every trip you must take in your stride, nor fear, pride, or regret can stay in your way, yet, there is purpose in all we do, let's follow this lil girl to see if you and I can agree, we really need each other to create this cause otherwise, it will lose its fighting power, let's give it another hour...........time heals all wounds, only fools hang on.......to pride of life, which becomes the fall.........of all mankind.........such are the tales you see, but let us all take caution in what we seek. Tomorrow is a new day, let's leave this one to the brave. Fall your heart and you will see that sometimes we are all like this lil girl, it is the imagination we all seek, for a glorious world of refuge, love, kindness, trust, and every earthly thing we should not lust, so please put your love and time in this lil girl that we have all found...........the earth is solid ground, we must become one if we are to be found, not wanting for we are all standing on common ground............Love you Lil' girl.......that I have found
Why am I such a romantic at heart? In a world, whose heartz's are all frozen with fear!! My goal to marry my husband, funny I say this, I already feel married to him, only thing missing is him........I would live in a tree house with him, a makeshift hippy bus, or just a smaller manufactured home we put together our selves and live off of the land with it!! I don't want a conventional life, I want a life that is super great, not because of what we have, own, or make but because we are both in this life together, forever!! Have u ever met someone and just felt complete with them but yet never really met them in the traditional sense, yet you know their out there and they feel same, but for whatever reason they just have not taken the plunge to get over what eve it is their waiting for, maybe they fear rejection, but I already love him, so it would take a lot to reject such a man, even with all of those changing faces like a clown, he is a funny guy this way.........I know he will come out when he's good and ready but by delaying it I feel he's making it harder, but I guess there is something that can be said of time and when the time is ready. I know he has a lot on his plate, so I am patient, but he has hinted at issues like trust, lying, laziness, and other unfounded things because until you walk into the person's story you only get small fragments, glimpses, and a feeling that may not be fully correct, as we live in a judgemental world..........one that draws very quick conclusions...........I think we both have a good sense of humor because if we didn't we would not be together still??
I always forgive him actually very easy more than anyone else I have ever met, and yet I have made love to him so many times with my real senses, and its been wonderful and deep and meaningful each time, sometimes, I cum very quickly.........in my dreams............smiles I think if u have half of an imagination you can actually guess the reality of it..........I am usually careful with my words on here, but I think I might be able to get away with that one......hmmmm?? Also, the love making with him is unique, different, and like making love to myself full of warmth, colors, and total freedom of expression, he's not too shy, me I am more reserved but he likes it because he likes to tease my senses and drive me wild...........O can I say that too hehehe!! Anyway, an astrologer (Linda Goodman) once said that people that make love without being in love, the body then becomes sick, but those who love and do not make love, actually experience their bodies becoming sick, I am at that stage...........but I have not had any type of actually sex with another for over 4 yrs believe it or not? Its a choice, especially with the diseases out there; but I can't speak for him, he might be gettin it off and on, I am not sure........only time will tell..........I guess I really do not want to know...........I am hoping he does not want a sample of the goods before he marries me because although I am not sure I could really resist him, I would hope he had enough respect for me to not push it, and also, he needs to know I am forever his or forever gone...........that might be where I am a liar, I have been hanging on now for a year does that make me a liar?? Probably, I am not sure why I am still hanging on, but here I am like a good and faithful servant............Jesus says we are all here just serving one another on some level anyway......He can be very judgemental again, what does he expect with this type of arrangement, not too many others will wait or even care, most will be interested in the show, so I don't care, but I do believe he is having trouble making up his mind, not sure why, but I guess I have not been too easy either, refusing chats with others cause he's so shy and then trying to believe its all because of him, gosh I was so gullible..............we do crazy things for love......Now, just holding my sacred ground, I have woken into my metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly...........lost my ability to spell words since I met him.......not sure y maybe a spell or something........thank God for spell checker, grinning............I thought I wanted the world, now, I just want a treehouse with early morning kisses, a cuddle by the fire, and an evening walk through the forest or beach hand n hand and acting silly, like two teens that didn't realize they have gotten older, life sucks that way............but rest assure I will never grow up.....I am more immature than my 13 year old who is spooky smart!! Now, my priorities are changing quickly because I am tired of this man pushing away and running towards me another day.........He is scared but love will do that to you, I bet I am too!! Anyone reading this can you say a prayer that we will meet up and that the only thing we need to fear now is time...........I really fell for him when I saw him touching his kids I believe or friends not sure which, but he is letting me see who he is slowly but surely...........real slow, so maybe this butterfly does not want to be caught either...........but tick tock time waits for no man !!
In love with two souls, one is the most beautiful-est person I have ever met in my life, so creative, original, unstoppable, knowledgeable, intelligent to the extreme, loving, kind, gentle, beautiful from the inside to the out, unbelievable kindness, love of all types of beauty, innocence of heart, love of animals, children, and all beings on this planet and the other galaxies.............multi languages, invincible, incredible, so unique that the word itself is dimension in its true meaning! I need a thesaurus to describe him, but my main point is he is undeniably unbelievable in almost every human expectations and then some~~~My true twin.........do u believe in destiny..........do u believe in that one and only one special love that kicks all others in the Ass!!!!? I do and he is in my life, for its not being with me that's most fascinating, its the fact I am me when I am with him as if his vessel is only there to contain the other half of my soul~~~my twin self the part of me that fled from birth......... I love this half so much.......but I am torn, too!
As there is always night, so there is day; as there is God then there is always evil in one form or another.......devil, Satan, the dark one whatever..........point there are always two opposing forces here on earth and as simple humans we have to deal with forces beyond our control.......and sometimes to witness yourself doing evil too! O yes, evil is so much fun, I would be a liar if I said I did not thoroughly love it!! I love being evil whether it is a sexual type of preference, drugs, lying, cheating, stealing, or hating, rest assure I love it when I am doing it!! Or why do it? I am as evil as evil gets, I can drop down to the lowest, basis, and debauchery forms of inhumane types of behavior without a provocation or hesitation when it strikes me deep in my dark soul to do so............Yes, my soul can be the darkest of all souls and I love being evil, bad, disgusting, and despicable to all the so-called polite society!!~~HAHA!! Yeah, oh yeah!!
Paradox side by side, evil me and good me, I digress........my man is the same too!! I will admit when he's a bad lil boy, he's really bad......You see he is a rebel with many many causes, this character lives large in the in reality of his own mind either way its an extremely intense ride, not for the faint of heart <3 I sadly have to admit, he can be terrifying and enlightening all in the same breath, you do not want to get on his bad side because despite his good, kind, and forgiving nature; there is only so much you can do to him that may not find its way to his sketchy forgiveness, good luck with that one, best not to upset him too much.....safer for you anyway!! My point is he is both beautiful in every way I personally love so much, and just as dark as the darkest of humans can be; he has tried very hard to take the higher road, but you see, he went against his own code of conduct; otherwise, he is indomitable in every sense of the word, not to be lightly trifled with if you know what is healthy for you, smiling like a Cheshire kitty he he!! His crime~~~loving me a Libra female with a Scorpio moon, almost like a Scorpio in intensity and dogmatic determination, but the Libra mellows me out to a more humanistic person with a passionate purpose of will......until I met him I was very content with my mediocrity of passive living. You see when you meet your other half he he he, good or bad or both, you have to take on both halves of the whole, this is usually why twins meet in the first place to merge painfully and blissfully back into the one individual person they were met to be in the first place before sin destroyed our world and tore everything out of perfect harmony, synchronicity, and perfect loving balance.........:o
The tearing is a nature fact of life and every twin will have to endure this critical process...many of us can't handle the heat and we gladly back down from this deepening of the extreme forces of our natures going back and forth and up and down trying to find a way back, unfortunately, despite the fact we look so hard most of our lives consciously or unconsciously for the other half of ourselves when we actually meet our self face to face or in our case, spirit to spirit, which is even scarier because it is really hard to admit this is all a farce with the strength backing it with absolutely no tactile proof of its existence in the first place!! Yes, at first very exhilarating, exciting, and driving hard the two halves, but then through time and space the two realize, "wait a minute, I really love this person, yet I can't really see them, maybe a picture, and I might be able to hear them, but is this really my twin?..........addiction is a good sign your on the right path to your soul mate..........no matter how hard you try, you just can't happily pull yourself completely away and feel normal anywhere you go, no matter how you lie to yourself that your still the same great and wonderful person you once were before having this encounter. I always go back to him, and I am independent, not a truly needy type at all, but meeting him there are times, I am down right naked and extremely vulnerable to him, and he knows it, but he's the same, and he's also used to being in charge, as he is very dynamic person with lots of drive, imagination, and great energy............but he keeps coming back, and I feel at times even as strong as he is as a well accomplished individual, he is trying to fight it or analyze it too!!
Being torn, is normal while you go through this process and not all twins can handle this extreme, maddening, and powerful thrust into going back into another soul because they are still fighting to remain autonomous, but you know in both of your hearts it is just not working out that well because the more you deny it, fight it, and try to ignore it, the more you actually start to lose yourself because you can not meet up with yourself and actually just say, "hey, how's it going and oh by the way see ya later?" Nice strategy but it will not work because you just met yourself and it is like "hey" I am over here, "hello" come and get me!!!! I am not sure of the outcome just yet, he is a patient man, as I am, we are both strong people, determined, and we both like it our way, yet when I am really with him and we are really connecting, then and only then do I know how relaxing, perfect, soothing it is to meet the better half of my true self we are opposites of the same coin, in that he's a major ambitious person has always been, but I have been ambitious, but more relaxed about it as I am more of the nature keeper and he's the world keeper type............but no matter how this works out for us, I do not see us not being together, as forces are already bringing us together, no matter how we both are minimizing this powerful effect this is having on both of us...........more late.....about the world keeper and Ms. nature he he he Kisss, thanks for reading!!!!