I have a silhouette that chases after me, a watcher, but nothing more.....ice cold hands.....he's just a boy, just someone else's boy, not mine! The real one is out there still....I can feel it, and I can feel him when he's there; but he's too busy for me now!! Making to much coin to remember how what we had was more than the damn $$$.........Why can I not be satisfied with these imitations when I know my real heart is out there, he's a strong man, the strongest in the world; he's a fuking mystery still, He haunts my dreams, my heart, and my soul is so cold cause I know he's close by, but he will not show me that he's mine cause he makes the rules.....all these boyz surround me.......not buying it for a second, minute, or life time.........He has a plan the man with the plan, he just won't take my hand, his love maybe warm, but he is a flying eagle in no women's sight. They are hiding me from those who want to hurt me, but why me??? I am not a training routine, I am human doing my best does he want to put this love to its fullest test??? My guess!! I have never loved anyone this long, without the slightest measure of pleasure.......This kingdom is full of red spirits, not real friends, just ghosts behind the machine, he used to be a salesman, but he found God through the love of his pain, but now we are both insane...........in no man's land where everything is so damn much in misery.....is there a God, now? I am possessed with him, and I can't find a hand in this storm, no umbrella, no kiss, want to miss, but not without their hisses, just for one day to be his would be all I would want for this miss, but now I am not his Mrs. because of fuking money, no one's Mrs !!
Love is more valuable than all of this!! Don't feel this whole situation it is either a lie or true, but my head just won't let me stop when I look into his eyes, why has he left me, again?? Why does he trick me like I am his idiot!! I am no man's fool but, now I am blue, without this red devil holding me, he's so damn cruel! Why do you love someone who doesn't want you? They always say to me.....they can kiss my A()&*^%%!! I know something inside it won't go away, his pride, his self deception is so hard....I know its him, but where can I find him at, where did he go this time.........I can't love anyone else, I am lost but not in paradise, just paying this unholy price, hey you guys, this isn't nice!!! I know he's there waiting somewhere, but he is a proud man, not like these lil boys who lie to me, and tell me that they are him.......must be a lie, fuking stay away you liars!! I would rather not have any love at all forever if I can't have him......He's the only one I want, ever wanted, to innocent to see what a fool he watched and made of me, he's not going to fall that deep for a lowly sheep, without her own keep. I hate fuking money, it rules everything and once it comes in love takes back stage; I lost my rhythm and now swirling into dust, lust, and falling into the darkest void.....just one touch, just one foot hold, and I do not care about his darkest of dark pasts because he's the beat in my darkest soul.....light comes and goes, but still, all the lies to keep me away from him because I had to open my dirty white girl mouth and say he was not the King when he was my everything!!
I have songs in my head when I think of him, I don't care how evil he was or is I will never leave......I have fallen to the darkness, and now look who is trying to save whom!!? I am not me, I am something out of his nightmare, but I do not care........I love his darkness...........I hate him, but I love him, too!! He is worth the world, but I would love him if he was on the street, I would be his only friend; he laughs, I am too soft he thinks, but water is the strongest force in this world....I will wear him down...the water in me is stronger than the fire in him......I know........he was a man in love, and now...he is too good for me now, I was just....amusing.....for him, and now that he does not need that in me........I am yesterday's news...........He found God but I had to go to hell through the abyss of this!! Whatever, you want to call it!!? The unholy hour is 333 and I wasn't sure until recently, watching his TV, what I have been to him, and now I am not sure what the hell I am.....drowning in this black heart, so far apart from him........illusion they call it, he's a magician and knows how to disappear, and only if he wants do you get glimpses of this illusion I am in, but now, he is blue, but so am I too, not sure why he is so far away in my mind, but near to my heart, I can't even bleed red, now its gray and black, with a streak of purple, he has a sense of humor too, wow, he's so cool!!
Just look, you must look like the starving tramp that I have sold, or go!! U dirty bitch, just go!! Do you know who I am? I am not your clown, you lied, now go!!!!!!!! I begged until I bleed, but there is nothing bright, only thing left, is my own dread......I wish I knew what it meant to know this giant of a man, he is not everyone, he is just his own whole.......does not need the world, and now its time to go!! Two magnets might turn each other around, but they will always find a way back.......he either does or does not have my back.............? He is still in the further and the farther he goes out, the more I know I am through....I can't stop, back down, or hide, I am too ignorant and void of my own silly pride......love is torment, torcher, and now I am not his bride!! Just another one of his throw a ways!! Tossed on the pile of empty bodies he leaves behind in his hot love, to awaken to his snowy touch, not much more baby, you got just enough! He hides behind the tower of babel with one more shot, but your not perfection, your my cruel, cold, and dark rejection.........nothing personal, just business!! He laughs at me, but I am not a throw away, I am, the way......he will see he's not going to get rid of me, go a head kill me, isn't that what you do? You throw away people like used pieces of crap, Wrong, superman, I will be back!!
~~~D lost in sweet misery over you baby........be a real man and save me......repent.....atone....be a man let me inside of you, your dancing fool, baby I have always loved just you!!! <3 <3 <3